It seems that in every playdate I’ve had lately, the same topic keeps coming up–school. Apparently, once your child hits 3, it’s time to have an educational plan in place.
Really, though, this is a natural progression in mom-conversations. It’s totally normal to think ahead. I mean, really, Pre-K is only 16 months away. [Anyone else have heart palpitations at that thought?]
Anyway, Jo is 3. And suddenly, there is all this pressure to have a school plan and to be involved in a variety of activities (for the college applications, obviously)!
I think this kind pressure was always there. It’s just changing as our kids’ skills are changing. This new pressure fells weightier.
Is Jo going to be in dance? You can start at three, you know?
Does she do swim lessons? It’s great to start young.
Did you hear about the preschool at the high school? You have to enroll early. There’s a wait list.
Here’s the crazy thing, though. For the most part, I am completely satisfied with the parenting choices we’ve made.
And yet, there’s this sneaky part of my heart that starts to get stressed out and starts to question if I’m doing the right things.
So, of course, I’ve been thinking about where this sneaky pressure comes from.
And surprisingly, it has some very familiar roots.
Comparison. Identity. Insecurity.
[Goodness, Lord, really? Why do I always struggle with the exact. same. issue over and over? Can’t I have something new?! Just for variety?]
This sneaky part of my heart reveals quite a bit. I have a propensity towards insecurity in my parenting choices. I’ve placed some of my identity in my children’s ability to be successful and excellent and advanced (because it makes me look good). I measure my kids against other kids so I can prove (to myself and others) that I’m a better mom.
Yeah, that’s not cool. Thankfully, God can (and will!) change my heart, and He can help me gain freedom.
As a mom and friend, I long to be quietly confident in the choices I make for my family. I want to share what we do, when others want to hear it. I want to eliminate competition from my conversations. I want to support my friends in their choices. I want to decrease comparison and increase encouragement.