A Life Stirred

When Mommy Guilt Strikes…

on October 14, 2013

Mommy guilt is a silly thing.  And it’s also very real.

Before I was a mom, I remember reading about it and hearing others talk about it, and I didn’t really get it.  I thought, “Why can’t moms just find joy in the fact that they are doing the best they can?  Why can’t moms show themselves a little grace?  Sure, they may not be perfect, but no one is.  There’s no need to feel so guilty about not being perfect.”

Yeah, now I’m a mom.  And from time to time, Mommy Guilt hits me.  It really is a powerful feeling.  It can distract me and pull me down.  It makes me feel inadequate.  It makes me feel like I’m messing up my kids.  I makes me feel like I’m not really all that good at this Mommy thing.

I don’t know where you are most susceptible to Mommy Guilt. (I’m just going to go ahead and assume that if you are a mom, you have some Mommy Guilt.  If you don’t, tell me your secret!)  Most of the time I feel like I’m doing a pretty good job, but sometimes my thoughts get away from me and before I know it, I’m feeling like a failure.  For me, it generally has to do with Joanna’s screen time and diet (particularly with regards to veggies and milk).  And  I find this guilt sneaks up on me most when I start comparing myself with other moms or worse, when I compare myself with the impossible standard I have in my head.  (Or when I’m at Joanna’s well-baby visits and they ask if she drinks whole milk and I always have to say, “Uhhh…no….she doesn’t really drink milk.”  Every. Single. Time.  Can’t they just make a note and stop asking me?!)

She really does love her TV time.  So glued.

She really does love her TV time. So glued.

But really the problem boils down to my impossible standard of motherhood.  It’s there in my mind all the time.  It tells me I’m doing it wrong.  It tells me that I’m going to mess up my girls.  It tells me that Joanna is going to be permanently messed up because I let her watch TV while I shower.  It tells me that I’m a bad mom because Joanna only had one vegetable today (and by “one vegetable”, I mean one single green bean).

Now that I think about it: those things sound an awful lot like lies.  Lies that the Enemy would like me to believe.  Because when I am believing lies, I’m not believing God’s truth:

His truth that involves grace upon grace.

His truth that tells me that in Him, I can do all things.

His truth that says that Joanna and Claire are His daughters and He has a plan for their life.

His truth that says I’m His daughter and He has a plan for my life.

His truth that gently reminds me that one green bean is better than no green beans (no, that’s not technically Biblical, but it should be).

Oh, Lord, help me to show myself grace as a mother.  When I get bogged down in lies and guilt, I miss out on the joy of motherhood.  You’ve blessed me with two beautiful, healthy girls.  Teach me to just rest in You, knowing that I’m doing the best that I can.  I am not perfect.  But You are.  And You can fill those gaps that my human-ness leaves.

4 responses to “When Mommy Guilt Strikes…

  1. Melissa says:

    Beautiful prayer, Carley<3.

    I am always having to remind myself that my ability to mess my kids up is not stronger than God's grace to cover it all!!! I give myself way too much credit sometimes!

    Also, dairy is totally overrated. If God intended for us to get our nutrients from a cow, we would have been born as calves. Your milk is the best thing to build their bodies and you did that!

    And don't worry about the veggies. When she is older and you can bargain with her more, it will be much easier to force them down…ie "you can get down after you eat 3 beans" or " you can have more noodles after you eat that carrot."

    • carleymorse says:

      Well said, Melissa! And that holds true for us too…we’re not so messed up that God’s grace can’t cover that too!! Good stuff!!

      And Dr. Morningstar has reassured me that there’s nothing magical about cow’s milk…which I feel good about most of the time. But that Mommy guilt is sneaky, eh?

      And for the veggies, one of my Christmas wish items is a book about how to sneak veggies into meals. I’m not above that. 🙂

  2. […] When Mommy Guilt Strikes… Oct […]

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