A Life Stirred

On resting

So, I follow a bunch of blogs.  Mostly Christian Mom blogs…and adoption mom blogs…and mom mom blogs…or the Doghouse Diaries.  I love it when those blogs are updated regularly.  I like when feedly tells me there’s a new post at one of my favorite blogs.  But sometimes those blogs go quiet.  And eventually, the blogger will return, saying something like, “I’m sorry it’s been so quiet here lately.  Life has been crazy.  And I haven’t had time to think…let alone write any of those thoughts out.”  And I get that. 

But now I really get that.  Life has been crazy.  And I haven’t had time to think…let alone write any of those thoughts out.  And I missed it.

It’s not even been a particularly crazy kind of crazy.  Mostly just ordinary life crazy (with a little bit of extra crazy thrown in here and there).  And I always think it’s gotta slow down soon, right?  An easier, more restful season has got to be on it’s way.  We’re just one good to-do list away from some rest, right?!

Maybe not.  I’m starting to think that maybe…just maybe…life is always crazy, and we have to be intentional to carve out rest.  I mean, God did command us to take a Sabbath day, a day of rest.  Did He have to command it because it wouldn’t happen naturally?  And how often do we actually obey that command?  I know that I don’t set aside an intentional time of rest.  <gulp>

I’m starting to think that life is on an ever-increasing path of hectic-ness.  I mean, think about it.  Did you ever really appreciate how easy it was to be a kid?  Sure, life had a huge learning curve (“What is this?!  The alphabet?!  I have to learn that?”).  But someone else took care of everything else for you–shelter, food, clothing, major decisions, repairs around the house, transportation, and on and on.  There was even a season when you got to take a daily nap while someone else made dinner and picked up your toys!!  I’m pretty sure I didn’t appreciate that like I should’ve.

Here's someone who has no problem taking time to rest.

Here’s someone who has no problem taking time to rest.

So, as Thanksgiving and Christmas approach and as I enter one of the craziest seasons of the year, I want to be intentional to rest.  I want to take a Sabbath.  I want to be still and know (Psalm 46:10).   I don’t just want to listen to Christmas carols as I tackle a monster to-do list day after day.  I want to do what they say:  Let every heart prepare Him room.  O come let us adore Him.  The weary world rejoices!  In the meadow we can build a snowman.

Who’s with me?

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Mommy Brain. It’s real.

So, I used to think that “Mommy Brain” was a made-up thing.  Something that moms created to give them an excuse for saying silly, nonsensical things like, “Put that thingamabob on the whatchamacallit.”  (That’s a direct quote from my own mom  Love you, Mom!)  I used to wonder why moms couldn’t just try a little harder and focus.  How hard can it be to just use the real words?  Or to remember to take the keys out of the door?  Or to not put your wallets in the fridge?

I understand now.  There’s just something special that happens in motherhood that results in that foggy Mommy Brain.  Something about the combined effects of lack of sleep, spending all your waking hours talking to a toddler, and hormones (because everything annoying is due to hormones).  It’s really not cool.

These girls are the reason for the Mommy Brain.  They're worth it.

These girls are the reason for my Mommy Brain.
They’re worth it.

But I’m realizing there’s another level to this “Mommy Brain” thing.  One that’s a little harder to accept.  I mean, I can get used to finding my cell phone in weird places.  I can adjust to never remembering the names of objects around me.

I’m finding it harder to accept that I don’t use my brain the same way I did a few years ago.

In college, I majored in math and Spanish (weird combo, I know, but I liked both subjects).  I used to write 10 page papers…in SPANISH!  And mathematical proofs!  Heck, I used to be able to understand mathematical proofs!  And Spanish.

Yes, I took Astrophysics in college.   Yes, I did a photoshoot with my book. I told you I was nerd.

Yes, I took Astrophysics in college.
Yes, I did a photoshoot with my book.
I told you I was nerd.

Don’t get me wrong.  I love this new stage of life.  I love narrating my every move for my kids.

But sometimes I miss using that brain-y part of my brain.  And sometimes I worry that it’s gone for good.  Will I ever solve for x again?  Do I even remember any Spanish?!

I’m realizing that I put a lot of my identity into that nerd-y, intellectual side of me.  I was a nerd.  I was good at school.  I could understand fairly complex mathematical concepts (at least long enough to pass the tests).  I could read and write in a foreign language!

What I need to remember is that I am more than that.  God created me to be more than that.  In fact, I need to find my identity in Him and Him alone.  Because every other source of identity is fleeting.

A math and Spanish major?  Fleeting.

A first and second grade teacher?  Fleeting.

A mom of two under two?  Fleeting.

A wife?  Fleeting.

A child of God, saved by His grace, and living to serve Him and His kingdom?  NOT at all fleeting!

Now, that’s a source of identity that will last for eternity!  It will hold up regardless of the season of life that I find myself in.

Lord, help me to find my identity in You alone!  Even in this season where I spend most of my time “setting up the pins.”  (Love this song.  Go watch the video.  It’ll make you smile.  Thank you, Sara Groves, for describing my every day existence.)



P.S.  This blog has been such a blessing to my nerd-y brain side.  It’s been a really cool way for me to use my intellectual side again.  (And please, please, please, don’t misunderstand.  I’m not saying moms can’t be intellectual or nerdy.  I’d like to think I am both.  But this new stage of life really does involve a lot less formal nerdiness.)

P.P.S. Totally think I’m going to do a “Setting up the Pins” post soon.  I watched the video, and it triggered like 12 minutes of thought and about 4 minutes of blog-post writing in my head (a necessary step to a post becoming a reality).

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