A Life Stirred

Control Issues

on April 7, 2014

I have a friend who posed a question on facebook last week.  It was a harmless, simple question.

And whoa, people had opinions!  Strong opinions.  Since I tend to not have strong opinions, it surprised me.

And made me laugh.  Because guess what she asked?

“Do you let your kids mix Play-Doh colors?”

Yeah, apparently, that’s a hot button issue.  Who knew?

The overwhelming response was, “NO!  It drives me crazy.”  Which I totally get.  I like things nice and neat and orderly too.

But…really?  You don’t let your kids mix Play-Doh because it drives you crazy?  That seems a bit controlling…

[If you were in the no-mixing camp, keep reading.  I have a point.  And it’s not to call you names.  Trust me.]

It was easy for me to read those responses and judge.  (Yeah, I judged.  I’m sorry.)

But you know what?  I am just as controlling.  Maybe not about Play-Doh, but that doesn’t change the fact that I want to control thoroughly unimportant things in my daughters’ lives.

And for the record, I’m not controlling about Play-Doh because I only let Joanna play with one color at a time…thus making mixing impossible.  Oh, wait.  Maybe that is controlling…

And for the record, I’m not controlling about Play-Doh because I only let Joanna play with one color at a time…thus making mixing impossible. Oh, wait. Maybe that is controlling…

So what do I try to control, you ask?  Ugh.  Where do I even start?

I control what they wear, which bins the toys go in, when they can use crayons, how much TV they see, when they can play with certain toys, where they play in the house, and on and on and on.  And don’t even get me started on the things I try to control that I have absolutely zero control over.

Some of those things are probably worth controlling.  At least to some extent.  But some of them aren’t worth the energy.  Like who cares if the blocks end up in the toy car bin? (Ironically, Joanna has been known to pull a block out of the wrong bin and put it in the right bin.  I love that girl.)

And sometimes she just wears the toy bin on her head...

And sometimes she just wears the toy bin on her head…

I wonder if this is something all moms struggle with…or if it’s just us Type-A, mildly OCD types.  So what about you?  Do you find yourself controlling aspect of your kids’ lives?  Or have you figured out the trick to just letting go and letting them be kids?  If so, it’s time to share your secrets.

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3 responses to “Control Issues

  1. Yay I made it into one of your blog posts (LOL). I think most Moms control or try to control at least some aspects to varying degrees. I think that is only a problem when it is excessive . . . when you don’t allow your kids the chance to breathe or be their own unique selves because it doesn’t fit with the mold you have in mind. If that makes sense. Just my two cents worth.

    • carleymorse says:

      Well, I never realized how passionate people were about Play-Doh mixing until you opened my eyes to it. 🙂 I think you’ve nailed it with the word “excessive.” Because it is a balance…of letting them be who they are and not letting them run wild.

  2. […] week, I decided to be a brave mom and pull out the finger paints.  To let go of some of that control, and let my kids be kids and create.  Ooof.  Easier said than done!  I had to keep chanting […]

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