A Life Stirred

A Thinker’s Thoughts on Feelings

on July 22, 2014

I’m a thinker.  Which generally means that I have no idea what I’m feeling.  Unless it’s hunger.  (Wait, that’s *not* a feeling?  Weird.)

I just don’t stand a chance against those complex emotions, like anger or jealousy or frustration!  I’m lucky to be able to label them.  Figuring out why I feel the way I feel?  Forget about it!  Not in my skill set.

I had some friends in college who were expert feeling-feelers.  They helped me tremendously on my feeling journey.  Basically, they were Yoda to my Luke Skywalker.  Knowledgeable they were.

A baby Yoda.  (I borrowed this baby to complete my costume.)

A baby Yoda. (I borrowed this baby to complete my costume.)

I would really benefit from a refresher course.  I feel off.  (Is that a feeling?  I don’t even know.)

And if I’m honest with myself, I know why.  I haven’t been centering my heart on the Lord.  I’ve been going and going and doing and doing and working in my own strength for far too long.  And as a Type-A, list-maker, I can be pretty successful with that.  On the surface, anyway.

But it never lasts.  It always ends in an overwhelmed, inadequate, falling-short feeling.  (Is that a feeling?)

My instinct is to try to work my way out of that funk.  To make better to-do lists.  To get more discipline.  To just try harder.

Yet, I know that’s not going to get me anywhere.  I need more of the Lord.  I need more grace and less work.  But I struggle with that big time.  I avoid the Lord.  There are no excuses.  I have the time.  I lack the desire and obedience.  It doesn’t get much more real than that, right?

So where do I go from here?

I know where I need to go–to the Word and to my Creator who knows what I’m feeling and can help me sort through it all (even better than my college Yodas).  But where do I get the desire to do that?

I will ask the Lord to increase my desire for Him.  Phillipians 2:13 tells me that “it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”  He gives me the desire to obey Him.  That’s a bit counter-intuitive to this do-er, but God doesn’t lie.

And I will trust that He can do what He says He can do.

 

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One response to “A Thinker’s Thoughts on Feelings

  1. […] as you know, I’ve been feeling off.  Last night, I couldn’t take the off-ness anymore so I stayed up until midnight to read and […]

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