A Life Stirred

Limits

on October 23, 2014

I’ve enjoyed writing for many years.  I have journals and journals filled with (not so good and not so finished) stories that I wrote when I was a kid.  When I was in second grade, my teacher expressed a concern with my creative writing.  According to her, I included everyone from my class in my stories, resulting in too many characters.  [Which—now that I think about it—is a bizarre concern to have for an 8 year old’s stories.]  When my parents asked me about it, I replied, “I just don’t want anyone to be left out.”

Twenty-two years later, I still like everyone to be included and feel important to me.  This isn’t a bad trait.  In fact, it’s a good thing to make those around you feel valued and included.  But somehow, I began to believe that that in order for me to include everyone and to be authentic and real (qualities I want to have), I had to share everything with everyone.

I mean, I had some level of discretion.  I wouldn’t just pour out my soul to the Walmart cashier.  But I have a lot of close friends, and I feel like I’m supposed to tell them all everything I’m working on and processing through.  And all the details.  And all my feelings and thoughts about the details.

Yet in this journey to a tame tongue, three different and wise women suggested that limiting who you share all the details with is part of having a tamed tongue.  They said there are levels of friendship and real-ness.

Honestly, that had never occurred to me.  I just want to include everyone.  I don’t like to think of levels of friendships because it sounds like I’ll be leaving someone out, which causes me to have flashbacks to 7th grade.

But the more I thought about it, the more I saw the value of limiting the number of people I share deeply with.  Not everyone needs to know everything I’m dealing with.  And really, I can be authentic without sharing everything with everyone.  Although, that balance is a little hard to find.

So, while I still want everyone to feel valued and included, I am beginning to see that discretion in what I say and to whom is absolutely key in taming my tongue.

What about you?  Do you consciously limit who you share deeply with?  Have you found a way to be authentic without over-sharing?

Don't miss a day!

Don’t miss a day!

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2 responses to “Limits

  1. This can be a hard balance. Sometimes sharing deeply when it can help others or even help you to find peace with things, is ok. But there are times I feel with things can be better left unsaid. sometimes its hard to find that happy place especially for young people still finding themselves but from my life experiences I can tell it gets easier with ‘practice’ lol!

  2. Elizabeth says:

    I feel like I tend to overshare with people that I’m with a lot during the week….mainly my co-workers. I should start working on limiting my sharing…

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