A Life Stirred

The Motherhood Paradox

“The days are long, but the years are short.”

“Enjoy every moment.  They grow up so fast.”

“This too shall pass.”

“Don’t wish the time away.”

Anyone who has been a mom for more than a day has probably heard one or all of these comments.  They’re meant to encourage and give perspective.  And they kind of do.

Except they kind of don’t.

Most often, I hear these types of comments as a response to a mom’s frustrations in her current season.  It certainly does give a big picture perspective of how long this current season will last, but it does nothing to affirm the mom’s feelings in the moment.  If anything, it dismisses her frustrations, and tells her to suck it up because someday her frustrating baby will be gone.

See?  Not so encouraging.

And yet, all those statements are absolutely true.  The days are long, and the years are short.  They do grow up fast.

Case in point: This was 3 years ago yesterday. That definitely went fast.

Case in point: This was 3 years ago yesterday. That definitely went fast.

So what do you do with it all?

It’s the Motherhood Paradox.  As a mom, I experience this paradox every.single.day.

It’s fast.  It’s slow.

It’s enjoyable.  It’s torture.

It’s fulfilling.  It’s absolutely draining.

I love my kids.  I….still love my kids, but need a minute alone (or a few hours).  (Anyone else?)

But you know what I’ve realized?  Motherhood can be all of those things at once.

You can also absolutely love your three year old, and her blossoming personality and language.  And you can want that very same threeanger to hurry up and be four.  It doesn’t take away from enjoying this stage.  And it does nothing to actually change the speed of time.  (Spoiler Alert:  Time is constant.)

You can love having all little kiddos.  And you can wish for the day when you don’t have to change diapers and wipe poo.  (TMI?  Maybe…but we’ve all been there, right?)

So, vent those motherhood frustrations, and don’t feel guilty for one minute.  (Because, seriously, don’t we all have enough mom-guilt as it is?)  Enjoy your kids in their current season, and wish for the next one.  It’s the Motherhood Paradox*.  And it’s ok.

*I should put a trademark on that phrase and make millions.  Because apparently, you can do that.

This delightful moment was followed up with a toddler melt-down. Thank you, Motherhood Paradox.

This delightful moment was followed up with a toddler melt-down. Thank you, Motherhood Paradox.

2 Comments »

10 on 10 :: The Out-Of-Control-Project Edition

You know that book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie?  You know, where the mouse wants one little, simple thing, and it spirals out of control until the house is destroyed, and he and his human-friend are completely exhausted?  Yeah, that was my day.  I just wanted to organize the girls’ toys.  But somehow it turned into a massive overhaul of the girls bedroom.  I’m pleased with the results, but goodness!!  I need a nap….and maybe a cookie.

Lucky for you, it’s September 10th, which means you get a front-row seat to my out-of-control project.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.  Let’s start at the beginning…

Once your daughter realizes she can see every picture you take, it becomes very hard to get a quality picture.

Once your daughter realizes she can see every picture you take, it becomes very hard to get a quality picture.

Reading a little Fancy Nancy before we head out for the morning.

Reading a little Fancy Nancy before we head out for the morning.

Pretending to be tech-y...

Pretending to be tech-y…

Meanwhile, my girls were playing with their favorite 11 month old (and his mom).

Meanwhile, my girls were playing with their favorite 11 month old (and his mom).

They can do some of the buckling themselves. It's a game-changer.

They can do some of the buckling themselves. It’s a game-changer.

A quick snuggle before naptime.

A quick snuggle before naptime.

This is when the insanity starts. I just wanted to sort through these toys...

This is when the insanity starts. I just wanted to sort through these toys…

An hour later, the girls room is *completely* changed! They like it!

An hour later, the girls room is *completely* changed!

Another hour later, the living room is back to normal. I moved furniture around....and then moved it back. A lot of work for it to look exactly the same.

Another hour later, the living room is back to normal. I moved furniture around….and then moved it back. A lot of work for it to look exactly the same.

They've been playing in their room all afternoon. I think it's a hit!

They’ve been playing in their room all afternoon. I think it’s a hit!

What a productive day!  I’m awfully proud of myself.  However, “rearrange the girls room” wasn’t on my to-do list…and lots of things were left undone.  Oh, well.  I’ll just add it, cross it off, and call it a day!

Leave a comment »